I can't sleep.

I think I'm just all hyped up because of the day. It's been a long one. I woke up too early. I got all philosophical after watching the inauguration and started making all these elaborate plans for how I'm going to change things for the better this year. Then I spent 6 hours working on psychology homework and drinking way too much coffee. I tried to go to sleep an hour ago. Couldn't. I tried reading in bed. Sometimes that makes it easier to fall asleep but not tonight. I thought having some tea might help so I'm awake sipping tea and writing while trying to ignore the slight panic attack symptoms that don't seem to be going away. It's a far cry from the full blown panic attacks I have been known to experience but it still sucks. It feels like my skeleton is trying to jump out of my skin. Not pleasant.

I'm attempting to make plans for a trip to see my family this summer. I want to go and yet I don't. Sometimes it's easier to love people from afar. You can ignore their faults when you're not confronted with them every day. But I do want to see my grandmother and my siblings and my little cousin. Plus the prospect of holding the three babies is enough to make me yearn to be "home". I miss being around little kids. By the time I get back there (if my plan goes as I hope) my nieces will be 10 months old and 2 years old and my little cousin will be 2 and 1/2. I haven't seen the older two since they were very little babies and I haven't seen my baby niece yet. I can't wait for all the little hugs and kisses. Little children have such a way of making you feel like you're important and loved.