I seriously can't take this crap anymore. I think there's some kind of weird conspiracy between CJ and the dog to make me insane. I know that sounds crazy, but I swear that's what's going down. I can't sleep in our bedroom because the dog is driving me nuts. We do everything possible to keep him from scratching the hell out of himself but it's not working. Every 5 minutes, all night long, he gets up and scratches himself until he's whining because it hurts. Oh and of course he's also kicking the plastic cone he has on which makes a lot of noise. The GF can sleep through it, but I can't! And I'm not allowed to put him out of the bedroom. Heaven forbid he might whine at the door for a few minutes. She can't take that. So I have no choice but leave the bedroom. Only problem with that is, where am I supposed to go?! CJ is in the living room sleeping every single night even though she made a huge deal about needing to have the bigger bedroom back because she was ONLY sleeping in the living room because she couldn't stand being in the small room. So where am I supposed to sleep? The bathtub? The treadmill in the dining room? The kitchen floor? The car?
I don't freaking know anymore. I think this is all some half-conscious attempt by CJ to break me and the GF up. Or maybe she's just really that selfish and doesn't care about how anyone else feels. All I know is I need to get some freaking sleep before I go completely nuts.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
people suck and money should grow on trees
I've been battling severe depression for weeks. All I want to do most days is sleep, but of course I can't because insomnia is always part of my depression. I'm so annoyed with myself for being so moody. I don't like feeling so vulnerable. And I definitely cannot deal with the amount of anger I am experiencing.
Things have been happening around here that piss me off. Ever since CJ got back from Iraq, I have been tiptoeing around trying not to be in her way or upset her. She unfortunately hasn't been very considerate towards me or her sister. At first it was just little things and we tried to let them slide. Over time, it really started to bug me. She just takes over everything! She lays down on the couch so no one else can sit there, which means I can't sit beside my girlfriend unless we sit on the floor. She always has control of the remote, so if we want to watch something on tv we have to ask her permission. And if we are watching something and she comes home, she will be obnoxious until we give over control of the tv so she can watch her "shows". She eats whatever she feels like eating and never buys anything for the house except junk food for herself. She wasn't even buying cat litter for her own cats until we stopped buying it and she was forced to because the stench of the litter box was unbearable.
Not to mention that she always sleeps on the couch. Which means if I have insomnia or nightmares, I am forced to remain in our bedroom so I don't disturb her sleep. I didn't like it but I was dealing with it because we had the larger of the two bedrooms and I could sit on the floor with my laptop or read without disturbing my girlfriend. (The switching of the bedrooms to give us the larger one was something CJ agreed to before she left for Iraq.) A while ago, CJ asked about switching the bedrooms back so she could have the larger one. I explained to her that it didn't make sense for her to have the large bedroom and force 2 people to share the smaller one. She dropped it at the time, but she didn't forget it. Last week on the first of my girlfriends 2 days off (at 7am no less) CJ threw a tantrum. No kidding, a real bratty teenager tantrum! She demanded that we give her "her room" back. She told some bullshit story about how she tried to sleep in the bedroom but she couldn't because it was just too small. (I know it was all bullshit to get us to do what she wanted because when we went in there to pack up her shit the bed was still made and there was a giant pile of clothes on it that had been there for a month. Can't very well sleep in a bed like that.) My girlfriend and I talked it over that morning and just decided to switch the rooms and let the drama queen have what she wanted so we didn't have to listen to it anymore. A couple of hours after we started packing things up, we get a text from CJ saying "oh well you don't have to switch the rooms right now but I want my room back by Sunday." WTF??? Not only is she giving us orders, but she's giving us deadlines?! I was beyond pissed. I am not her child. I am not her employee. And there is no reason to treat us with such disrespect. That's what bothers me most about this situation. She's so selfish and inconsiderate that she thinks it's ok to treat people like dirt to get what she wants. We are hoping we can move out of here in a few months and then CJ can have all the space she wants. And good luck to her because I know that with the way she is with money she's going to be up shit creek without a paddle when we're gone.
Wow, I didn't realize I was still that angry.
We found a couple of apartments that we might be able to afford. We're on a waiting list for one complex. The other complex has a 1 bedroom coming open October 1st, but I just don't know if we can get together the money to pay the security deposit, pet deposit, fees, and first months rent before that date. I really wish I knew someone who could lend me $1500.
Things have been happening around here that piss me off. Ever since CJ got back from Iraq, I have been tiptoeing around trying not to be in her way or upset her. She unfortunately hasn't been very considerate towards me or her sister. At first it was just little things and we tried to let them slide. Over time, it really started to bug me. She just takes over everything! She lays down on the couch so no one else can sit there, which means I can't sit beside my girlfriend unless we sit on the floor. She always has control of the remote, so if we want to watch something on tv we have to ask her permission. And if we are watching something and she comes home, she will be obnoxious until we give over control of the tv so she can watch her "shows". She eats whatever she feels like eating and never buys anything for the house except junk food for herself. She wasn't even buying cat litter for her own cats until we stopped buying it and she was forced to because the stench of the litter box was unbearable.
Not to mention that she always sleeps on the couch. Which means if I have insomnia or nightmares, I am forced to remain in our bedroom so I don't disturb her sleep. I didn't like it but I was dealing with it because we had the larger of the two bedrooms and I could sit on the floor with my laptop or read without disturbing my girlfriend. (The switching of the bedrooms to give us the larger one was something CJ agreed to before she left for Iraq.) A while ago, CJ asked about switching the bedrooms back so she could have the larger one. I explained to her that it didn't make sense for her to have the large bedroom and force 2 people to share the smaller one. She dropped it at the time, but she didn't forget it. Last week on the first of my girlfriends 2 days off (at 7am no less) CJ threw a tantrum. No kidding, a real bratty teenager tantrum! She demanded that we give her "her room" back. She told some bullshit story about how she tried to sleep in the bedroom but she couldn't because it was just too small. (I know it was all bullshit to get us to do what she wanted because when we went in there to pack up her shit the bed was still made and there was a giant pile of clothes on it that had been there for a month. Can't very well sleep in a bed like that.) My girlfriend and I talked it over that morning and just decided to switch the rooms and let the drama queen have what she wanted so we didn't have to listen to it anymore. A couple of hours after we started packing things up, we get a text from CJ saying "oh well you don't have to switch the rooms right now but I want my room back by Sunday." WTF??? Not only is she giving us orders, but she's giving us deadlines?! I was beyond pissed. I am not her child. I am not her employee. And there is no reason to treat us with such disrespect. That's what bothers me most about this situation. She's so selfish and inconsiderate that she thinks it's ok to treat people like dirt to get what she wants. We are hoping we can move out of here in a few months and then CJ can have all the space she wants. And good luck to her because I know that with the way she is with money she's going to be up shit creek without a paddle when we're gone.
Wow, I didn't realize I was still that angry.
We found a couple of apartments that we might be able to afford. We're on a waiting list for one complex. The other complex has a 1 bedroom coming open October 1st, but I just don't know if we can get together the money to pay the security deposit, pet deposit, fees, and first months rent before that date. I really wish I knew someone who could lend me $1500.
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