does anyone really know me?

I put on masks all the time. There's one for my family. There's one for my girlfriend. There's one for my friends. There's one for strangers. These masks make me who I want them to see. It all started because I never felt like anyone would love me if they really knew me. I didn't love me because I thought I wasn't good enough. It's exhausting and I wonder sometimes if I ever let anyone really know me. It seems like I keep secrets from everyone. I wish I had the guts to just be myself with everyone and not worry about the consequences. But then I wonder if I even know who I am anymore. I don't feel like a whole person. I feel like pieces of the people I pretend to be with some essential part missing that's supposed to make those pieces into a whole person. Am I the only one who feels like this?

In the spirit of wanting people to really know me, here's some facts about me that not many people may know.

1. I'm afraid of pigeons. Not birds in general. Just pigeons.
2. I quit biting my nails because I was harassed about it but now I have other ticks because I don't bite them anymore. (Such as compulsively writing words I hear with my fingers.)
3. I still suck my thumb sometimes before I fall asleep.
4. I can't decide what my style is. Basically it goes back and forth between three things; goth, college boy, and sporty girly.
5. I wish my brother was still my best friend. We used to have so much in common, but now I can't stand to talk to him and I hate it.
6. I want to have a baby more than anything else in the world and I'm afraid it's never going to happen and sometimes I think I don't want to be a mom because no kid should have to suffer through having me for a mother.
7. I get bored with things easily which is why I'm terrified to pick a college major and why I've put it off so long. I'm afraid I'll choose something and after a few years I won't want to do it anymore and will have wasted my money and time.
8. My little cousin is now my best friend and I love how close we've gotten, but I'm still afraid to let her know everything about me. I wish I wasn't because I feel like I'm missing out on a much more meaningful relationship.