weird things

First, relationship things...

We've been fighting a lot lately about some really personal things. I feel like I'm always the one complaining. The minute I complain about something, she says "Don't I do anything right?" Sometimes I feel like I have no right to complain about anything. She loves me no matter how screwed up I am. She lets me live with her without complaining that I'm not working right now. She buys me things. She treats me with respect most of the time. Maybe my dad was right and I'll never be happy no matter how good things are because I "need something to complain about". Everyone wants the perfect relationship. I know perfection doesn't exist, but is it so wrong to want things to be just a little better?


Now weird things...

CJ bought me a laptop as a graduation/birthday gift. It's perfect...exactly what I wanted. It's even purple like I wanted. But crap. How can I accept something so expensive from her? We're not that close and she's going to Iraq and... It's just weird! I don't want to hurt her feelings but it's an over-the-top gift. Maybe that's what she needs to do because she's going to Iraq. You know, the whole thing about trying to let people know how you feel without having to get all mushy because you're a big tough soldier. *frown* But this makes me feel like I'm going to owe her something. No matter how hard I try. I will never understand the things she does.