We had a huge fight last night about commitment and having kids. I hate when I finally get the guts to bring something up and it just ends up in a fight. I asked about the domestic partnership first. I thought she wanted to do it, but hadn't brought it up. Well, excuse after excuse spewed from her. She says it's "just a piece of paper" that doesn't mean anything. It means something to me! I tried to make her understand why I want it. To me it's more than just a paper...it's something legal that says we are committed to each other. Anyway, somehow that discussion lead to us arguing about having kids. She really knows how to push my buttons when it comes to that. I felt so selfish and stupid. And I've pretty much given up on having a kid. If we can't sit down and talk about it together and make a plan, then it's not going to happen. Why should I drive myself crazy hoping for something that's never going to happen? I can learn to be happy just being the aunt. I'm just sick of being disappointed. She lets me get my hopes up that this time we'll go through with the plan and have a kid, but it never happens. I can't put my heart into it anymore.
So I guess this means if I really want to go to Psychology school for 10 years, there's no reason not to.
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I really hope things get better for you. It makes me sad to see you like this. You don't deserve to be disappointed, you spent your whole life taking care of everyone else. Its your turn to do what you want to do. I love you
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